signs of life

just havent been in writing moods lately. well, i retract that. writing moods for the masses. God’s been doin work lately. so much to the point where i dont even know what to say about it..other than.. oh my.

He’s finally allowed friendships to form here. good friendships. with purpose for our lives as well as others, right now mainly teens. 2 years ago i was not super inclined to high schoolers. i “dealt” with them. well then God dealt with me. broke me. thats when the marion girls, particularly jackie roorbach.. man i miss her.

i was PLACED in indianapolis with purpose. its slowly being revealed, piece by piece.  i know more than i could ever tell, but once it happens, people will have a tangible thing to see how Gods promises prevail.

Unashamed Teen Ministry. If youre a person of prayer, which I know not everyone who reads this is… lift these teens up. Healing Streams Word and Worship Center is located in what most white people would call the ghetto. Nah. Its up n coming. The work the Holy Spirit is doing in those places that people write off before entering…. watch out. ha! These teens at the Streams get it. They understand. most think of teens as being troubled, lost, hopeless…  break that stronghold in the name of Jesus… They are pillars of revival in this nation.
The things we have seen (we being the leadership for the TM)… are fire.. makings of an army for the Lord.

wow. gettin all ..*wooo* just thinkin about what it will look like.

anyways. thats my update. “why isnt it about whats going on in your life?” because thats not what im here for. Gods got me taken care of. Just know that its a safer location to be in the hands of your Dad then to have the things that make you look stable to the world. (money, house.. etc).

Got enough to give and enough to live. but believing for abundance period. its coming

peace

The Mercy Seat

For those of you who actually read this, I apologize for the lack of update. Life has been moving at the speed of God with no real down time. Well… I’ll give a readers digest of the update…

I ended my job at NGS, the Medicare contractor at the end of March. It was just time to move on. I miss the people, but I know that God has more for me than government. I went immediately to Zent Consulting, a door which closed quickly. A week before ending NGS, I was told that the longevity of Zent wasn’t what it was pre-cancer for Greg, the president. At least from my area. It’s still productive - just was time for me to move. Wasn’t expecting that. I moved into Broadripple, an arty district of central Indianapolis. About 15 mins away from downtown and/or everywhere in Indy. It’s great. Diverse buncha nice people live here. And theres a starbucks right down the street. I’ll take pics soon…

I had an interview on monday the 7th - i think that was the day… at Main1Media. It went GREAT… but when the offer came - God said, no.. i have something better… Don’t ask me to explain why, because I cant. There’s no tangible reasoning to why the answer was no. And that is ok with me. His word is his word.

I made that move on the 13th. I was “unemployed” but God gave me work - at Zent.. which was such a blessing. Friday, the 17th was my first day of being “unemployed” but AGAIN he provided work for me to do from Mason. It’s turning out just like He planned.. nothing short of excellent. I have been sending out resumes, etc.. but nothings coming back - but I know that God is ALWAYS faithful, and ALWAYS my provider. mmm makes me smile just thinking about it.

I stumbled upon this analogy (stumbled.. ha God placed it in my lap) about life being safer inside the boat as opposed to walking on water. Well, the past weeks have shown me that TRULY life is safer and more exciting outside the boat - on the water- closest to Jesus.

If you feel like youre at a stand still in life.. same thing day after day after day… ask God to bring you outside the boat- He wont do it until youre ready, but the willingness is what hes looking for. If you have a willingness to be willing… Oh baby, He’ll run with it.

Take joy into today - He gave it to you with purpose.

jd

Will you stand?

To learn more, visit www.bound4life.com

broke the lease. looking for more… i know theres more, God. Show me where it is.

even if i explained it - it would evoke a different response from each person that read the journey I have been on since the 14th of January. those who i thought would understand..didn’t. the ones who i thought wouldn’t care have agreed that God’s will is best, even if they purposefully choose to deny God’s character and design for our lives.

i will be moving. where? not  sure - I have an area in mind. To put it simply, the Lord gave me a place where he is waiting to grow me at. That place happens to be 30-40 mins west. Bottom line.. He will provide.

he provided the financial means to make it happen.  |  he provided a lesson along the way that spending money for something isn’t necessarily a bad thing… im my fathers daughter..  |   he provided support  |   he provided love..   |  and most of all, through all the stress i put on myself by looking to day 3 on day 1… missing out on all day 1 has to offer… hes again, pointed out broken a part that needs to be repaired.

i know he is sovereign, jehovah jirah, loving, patient, my overseer, constant companion, faithful, the Almighty, my healer, my shelter, my shield… ps 91 says he commands his angels to guard me in all my ways, he is my rescuer, my satisfaction… my Lord.

Then why is there even room for the evil one to infiltrate? blah. he sucks. just plain sucks. He can suck all he wants.. hes conquered- I belong to Someone else.. he can take a hike.

Today in seeking his face for peace.. I stumbled upon this verse. It was from one of Pastor Tony Folgio’s “read the bible in a year” devotionals that i get in the junker email. i dont even remember what the title of the devo was.. but this passage literally captivated me. captivation to the point of God literally speaking to me..inwardly. words jumping off the page type (or off the screen: )  )

1Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

 2 See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the LORD rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.

 3 Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

 4 “Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the arm.

 5 Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come.

 Isaiah 60:1-5

I quickly wrote this verse down. funny. I’ve been prayin for daylight, wealth..(not necessarily financial), and for people to be drawn to his light..  He told me this once before that people would be drawn to me. when he’d pointed out discipleship as an avenue of service. I am excited to see what comes.

exhaustion. weighed on by so many things that are out of my control. have i made a serious attempt at releasing them to the Lord? yes. it just seems to make them heavier. i thought the storm was over with the news on olivet. sadly i was wrong.

what am i saying, “sadly” for?

isnt the Lords greatest work in us when it seems like everything is at a stand still? like pastor hill said in church on sunday.. God’s looking at his watch and goin…”its not time yet.. if you go now, my power cant be displayed.”

i am waiting for him to bring me to a place where what i just said is always my first answer. theres a lot on my heart that is heavy. heavy for one reason- i know their resolution is possible if i believe God is capable of moving things that seem concrete. leases, large monetary numbers… all conquered..

just not yet in the real world.

the times coming. just believe…

Because

Emmanuel

Lives

Expect

Victory

Everytime

Elijah then said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one young bull and prepare it first, for there are more of you. Call upon your gods, but do not start the fire.” 1 kings 18:25

contest annointing - let me show you what my God can do.

My God heals, delivers, provides, conquers, dries tears, mends marriages, mends friendships, has limitless love, never leaves, shows mercy to those who think they don’t deserve it, saves, strengthens the weak, sympathizes, guards, guides, forgives sinners, defends the feeble, rewards the diligent, is the gateway to glory.

His mercy is everlasting, his love is never ending,  his goodness is limitless, his lord never changes, his grace is sufficient, his Word is ENOUGH and his grace is sufficient.

death couldnt handle him and the grave couldnt hold him.

we are his people. possible people to do impossible things. the harvest is ready….

through My God.. all things are possible.

2 Chronicles 7:14

And if My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:15
Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer offered in this place.

I told a few people this weekend that God things are happening in Indianapolis…

massive change is coming.

7:45am: sitting here before bridge comes to get me… there was a battle, a small one this morning. just to get up - to go.. why not push it back some?… as i was about to reset my alarm. bridgette texted me for my address, even though we agreed id email it. thank you, Jesus.

4:26pm: mentally and physically exhausted, but still standing. “Will you stand for me? It doesn’t matter if anyone is standing with you - will YOU stand? I just need one. I am calling you…will you go?”

8:30am to 1:30pm: the Planned Parenthood Administrative Headquarters for Indiana, on Meridian and 38th, provides gynelogical services, access to birth control, std screenings, pregnancy tests, and “options for pregnant women”; because ” only you can determine which one [choice] is right for you. However, you don’t have to make the decision alone—talking to your partner, family, trusted friends, your clergy member and/or health care provider can help.”

the weather: ranged from -5 with the windchill to 10 degrees in the 5 hour span we stood in front of the building. the multiple layers that were causing us to sweat on the way over, were barely doing justice in the cold/wind.

petition in the form of: red duct tape covered each petitioners mouth, with the word, “LIFE” written on it in black sharpie. the way it went down - will, bridgette, JT and I were the ones out there for the first 2.5 hours with mollie and one of jt’s friends, lawrence who were there for a half hour or so. for about an hour there were 10 of us lining the building. it was awesome.

petition: is done through prayer- phil 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Luke 18, the persistent widow, calls out to the Lord. “Grant me justice against my adversary.” (v7-8)And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

_______

protest is horizontal (man to man). petition is parallel (man to God).

_______

Grant us justice against our adversary. We are your faithful, crying out on the behalf of those who can’t and those who don’t know any different. Hear our petition. Put an end to this destruction. Begin to speak truth to the youth.

————

the idea of this stand: Not to earn the attention of man, but to call the Lord’s ear to the bloodshed happening in Indiana as a result of this organization’s services. it goes deeper than the bloodshed, the services PP provides foster sexual immorality, insecurity, fear, murder.. they foster illness. Illness in the form of evil. An evil that has been tradition in Indiana since Feb 4, 1932. the first abortion being done in Merriville in 1978. so many innocent deaths.

the facts: While we were standing, praying, singing, silently with tape inhibiting our main communication and rendering us an art form as opposed to protestors. silence. makes people feel uneasy. makes them wonder. 2 cars circled the block multiple times, both on the last time taking pictures of the “sight”. the first 3 hours, no one took notice to the bundled males and females, black and white, standing silently in front of the PP building. A cop showed up for a 30 minute window. I took his presence as that of an angel, even though he was there probably by request of a neighboring apartment complex renter. “Make sure those crazy people dont attack anyone.” We handed nothing out and said nothing to anyone unless they inquired. One man, round, seeminly spirit filled, walked the stretch of street nearest the PP, praying from what I could tell. At one point he placed his hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eye and said, “God bless you.” He proceeded to do the same to the other 3 that were out there at the time. A funeral procession passed. Ironic in the presence of us fervently asking, agreeing with one another, the Lord to bring life back to that area.

what i took away from silence in the presence of the Lord: there are 3 things i am walking away with from this awesome encounter.

1] you cant pay attention to whats happening around you if youre driving. as the cars passed us, the passengers were the ones who first noticed the abnormality on the side walk, then telling the driver. many drivers attempted to see what the difference was. the persistent ones circled the block and slowed down the second time, one a third time.

moral of the point: let God drive so you can see what is along the path hes taking you.

2] stand in the gap. how many will follow? there is room for millions, trillions… but it only takes one.

moral of the point: stand even when no one is standing with you. to know the Lord’s heart of an issue is INCREDIBLY eye opening. when that occurs - letting those issues continue without opposition, makes you an enabler. the world will tell you you’re wasting your time. satan uses christians sometimes even to discourage and inset doubt…STAND.

3] the girl exiting PP fighting back tears in fear filled eyes. a young girl, maybe senior in high school, drove herself to PP. she briskly walked past us with her roxy-esque canvas purse pulled tightly to her ribs. jeans and a hoodie, hair pulled back, nothing about her said she took the time to prep her appearance that morning. The creak and sealing of the door signified she did actually enter PP. About 20 minutes later, the suction on the closed door released and i was expecting to hear the swaggered scrapping of shoe soles on the pavement, similiar to what had been happening in the last 4 hours. This time the soles barely made the expected scrape. Many people had entered the building in the last 20, it could have been anyone exiting. I lifted my head to see it was the young girl. The canvas bag still clutched tightly, but this time her eyes were sternly focused on the drive way which would lead her to her car. I’d examined the expressions of most of the women and men who entered the building, comparing it each time to their exit expression. we were positioned between the parking lot and the building, so everyone passed us on their way in and out. All had an attitude, with a hint of renewed freedom.. because they were refilled on the birth control that enabled their lifestyle. The canvas purse girl had a completely different demeanor than the rest. fear was ridden through her thin, 5′8 frame. locked eyes, fighting back tears. it almost seemed she wasnt able to cry because she was so scared, of something. a car started, and an explorer pulled out onto meridian going south. It was like slow motion as she drove away. traffic was clear. she began to accelerate, then her sight slowly turned upward in line with the PP sign and office windows to her right. Her eyes trailed the front of the building with complete distress, almost saying, “I cant believe my actions landed me in this prision - and thats my option….” A cry for help …

I turned to see if anyone had seen that either - no one did… it’s my experience to hold on to. thats the reality of abortion. that is the fear that has become the “only truly freeing option”. I want these women to know there is freedom in Christ - pre or post abortion. There is forgiveness, love, acceptance. He is the true meaning of “full”.

amazing grace, how sweet the sound…