signs of life

Elijah then said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one young bull and prepare it first, for there are more of you. Call upon your gods, but do not start the fire.” 1 kings 18:25

contest annointing - let me show you what my God can do.

My God heals, delivers, provides, conquers, dries tears, mends marriages, mends friendships, has limitless love, never leaves, shows mercy to those who think they don’t deserve it, saves, strengthens the weak, sympathizes, guards, guides, forgives sinners, defends the feeble, rewards the diligent, is the gateway to glory.

His mercy is everlasting, his love is never ending,  his goodness is limitless, his lord never changes, his grace is sufficient, his Word is ENOUGH and his grace is sufficient.

death couldnt handle him and the grave couldnt hold him.

we are his people. possible people to do impossible things. the harvest is ready….

through My God.. all things are possible.

2 Chronicles 7:14

And if My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:15
Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer offered in this place.

I told a few people this weekend that God things are happening in Indianapolis…

massive change is coming.

7:45am: sitting here before bridge comes to get me… there was a battle, a small one this morning. just to get up - to go.. why not push it back some?… as i was about to reset my alarm. bridgette texted me for my address, even though we agreed id email it. thank you, Jesus.

4:26pm: mentally and physically exhausted, but still standing. “Will you stand for me? It doesn’t matter if anyone is standing with you - will YOU stand? I just need one. I am calling you…will you go?”

8:30am to 1:30pm: the Planned Parenthood Administrative Headquarters for Indiana, on Meridian and 38th, provides gynelogical services, access to birth control, std screenings, pregnancy tests, and “options for pregnant women”; because ” only you can determine which one [choice] is right for you. However, you don’t have to make the decision alone—talking to your partner, family, trusted friends, your clergy member and/or health care provider can help.”

the weather: ranged from -5 with the windchill to 10 degrees in the 5 hour span we stood in front of the building. the multiple layers that were causing us to sweat on the way over, were barely doing justice in the cold/wind.

petition in the form of: red duct tape covered each petitioners mouth, with the word, “LIFE” written on it in black sharpie. the way it went down - will, bridgette, JT and I were the ones out there for the first 2.5 hours with mollie and one of jt’s friends, lawrence who were there for a half hour or so. for about an hour there were 10 of us lining the building. it was awesome.

petition: is done through prayer- phil 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Luke 18, the persistent widow, calls out to the Lord. “Grant me justice against my adversary.” (v7-8)And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

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protest is horizontal (man to man). petition is parallel (man to God).

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Grant us justice against our adversary. We are your faithful, crying out on the behalf of those who can’t and those who don’t know any different. Hear our petition. Put an end to this destruction. Begin to speak truth to the youth.

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the idea of this stand: Not to earn the attention of man, but to call the Lord’s ear to the bloodshed happening in Indiana as a result of this organization’s services. it goes deeper than the bloodshed, the services PP provides foster sexual immorality, insecurity, fear, murder.. they foster illness. Illness in the form of evil. An evil that has been tradition in Indiana since Feb 4, 1932. the first abortion being done in Merriville in 1978. so many innocent deaths.

the facts: While we were standing, praying, singing, silently with tape inhibiting our main communication and rendering us an art form as opposed to protestors. silence. makes people feel uneasy. makes them wonder. 2 cars circled the block multiple times, both on the last time taking pictures of the “sight”. the first 3 hours, no one took notice to the bundled males and females, black and white, standing silently in front of the PP building. A cop showed up for a 30 minute window. I took his presence as that of an angel, even though he was there probably by request of a neighboring apartment complex renter. “Make sure those crazy people dont attack anyone.” We handed nothing out and said nothing to anyone unless they inquired. One man, round, seeminly spirit filled, walked the stretch of street nearest the PP, praying from what I could tell. At one point he placed his hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eye and said, “God bless you.” He proceeded to do the same to the other 3 that were out there at the time. A funeral procession passed. Ironic in the presence of us fervently asking, agreeing with one another, the Lord to bring life back to that area.

what i took away from silence in the presence of the Lord: there are 3 things i am walking away with from this awesome encounter.

1] you cant pay attention to whats happening around you if youre driving. as the cars passed us, the passengers were the ones who first noticed the abnormality on the side walk, then telling the driver. many drivers attempted to see what the difference was. the persistent ones circled the block and slowed down the second time, one a third time.

moral of the point: let God drive so you can see what is along the path hes taking you.

2] stand in the gap. how many will follow? there is room for millions, trillions… but it only takes one.

moral of the point: stand even when no one is standing with you. to know the Lord’s heart of an issue is INCREDIBLY eye opening. when that occurs - letting those issues continue without opposition, makes you an enabler. the world will tell you you’re wasting your time. satan uses christians sometimes even to discourage and inset doubt…STAND.

3] the girl exiting PP fighting back tears in fear filled eyes. a young girl, maybe senior in high school, drove herself to PP. she briskly walked past us with her roxy-esque canvas purse pulled tightly to her ribs. jeans and a hoodie, hair pulled back, nothing about her said she took the time to prep her appearance that morning. The creak and sealing of the door signified she did actually enter PP. About 20 minutes later, the suction on the closed door released and i was expecting to hear the swaggered scrapping of shoe soles on the pavement, similiar to what had been happening in the last 4 hours. This time the soles barely made the expected scrape. Many people had entered the building in the last 20, it could have been anyone exiting. I lifted my head to see it was the young girl. The canvas bag still clutched tightly, but this time her eyes were sternly focused on the drive way which would lead her to her car. I’d examined the expressions of most of the women and men who entered the building, comparing it each time to their exit expression. we were positioned between the parking lot and the building, so everyone passed us on their way in and out. All had an attitude, with a hint of renewed freedom.. because they were refilled on the birth control that enabled their lifestyle. The canvas purse girl had a completely different demeanor than the rest. fear was ridden through her thin, 5′8 frame. locked eyes, fighting back tears. it almost seemed she wasnt able to cry because she was so scared, of something. a car started, and an explorer pulled out onto meridian going south. It was like slow motion as she drove away. traffic was clear. she began to accelerate, then her sight slowly turned upward in line with the PP sign and office windows to her right. Her eyes trailed the front of the building with complete distress, almost saying, “I cant believe my actions landed me in this prision - and thats my option….” A cry for help …

I turned to see if anyone had seen that either - no one did… it’s my experience to hold on to. thats the reality of abortion. that is the fear that has become the “only truly freeing option”. I want these women to know there is freedom in Christ - pre or post abortion. There is forgiveness, love, acceptance. He is the true meaning of “full”.

amazing grace, how sweet the sound…

“I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one.” ez 22:30

Thoughts from a friend, rewritten in from my memory:

Alot of you may find this odd. A friend of mine, had a vision last night. The Lord told him to stand in the gap. That he was to situate today, and stand tomorrow. He said like rapid fire with in 15 minutes he had 2 pages of typed notes and verses and mandates from the Lord on this topic: abortion.

Touchy subject for most. But don’t be a group of pansies. It’s REAL. IT HAPPENS. Many people arent even aware that someone they know has had one. It’s estimated that 2 million abortions were performed this past year in the US.  2 million. That means 2 million people were murdered. yes, people. Children. humans. Heart beat is first heard 22 days after conception. That means they’re miniature US’s who just havent seen day light yet.  That means 2 million people worth of bloodshed happens yearly in one country.

This past week, 2 mothers and 2 infants were murdered. In Indianapolis, the response to the mother’s slayings was anger. The response to the infants slayings was uproar. If the innocent murder of 2 infants in the public spot light caused such an upheval, why do we turn a blind eye and/or a deaf ear to the 2 MILLION innocent deaths that occur!?

Cain killed Abel. Way of offerings to the Lord were to be the first fruits of labor. Abel gave his firsts, Cain did not. The Lord was pleased with Abel, not with Cain. Cain gets ticked and basically hates Abel. Cain kills Abel. God asks Cain where Abel went… “im not my brothers keeper (v9).” Bam. The Lord lays it out.

“The LORD then said: “What have you done! Listen: your brother’s blood cries out to me from the soil!” gen 4:10

Blood cries out. How much crying does the Lord hear on a daily basis? With each murder thats committed, with each abortion that is legally done… but one small fact. This country has legalized murder. They made it lawful.

Another small fact. Intercessory prayer. Rather, a BIG fact. “If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.” 2 chron 7:14

There is such hope - a movement brought to life because one man said he would stand in the gap - whatever it took. He stood and others are going to be standing beside him. Catch the Fire.

more to come tomorrow, after God works through those who are willing to stand in the gap.

The group decided it would be a good idea to make sure everyone was engaged in the last weeks of this book, the Purple Book, of which I would recommend to ANYone. The BRC and this book have been God’s way of letting me know He cares enough to hear my cry (Luke 18:1-8). Funny enough - the lessons for this week were on faith and hope. Before I get intowhat the Lord has showed me, I’ll give you a summary of why I find it to be ironically humorous.

For those of you who knew about my opportunity for interview at Olivet Nazarene, this will be somewhat old and new news. If you had no idea I was interviewing for a Graduate Assistant Coaching position for the Women’s Soccer team at Olivet, heres the story.

Friday, went up to the quaint, yet modernized city of Bourbonnais, IL. It seems like it would be a great place to raise kids. Anyways, Coach Bahr, the women’s coach introduced me to the girls - they seem awesome- just like Zeller’s said. He also introduced me to a few coaches, the head trainer, BJ, Amanda - the GA for the softball team, and Coach Shimm, the AD. It was awesome. Everyone was so nice and genuine. The interactions between coaches was different than I had ever seen. More like…the way it is supposed to be. Ate with Z, at this old school pizza place where the owner came up and said hi - new Coach by his first name.

*interjection* I lov stuff like that. people who genuinely care enough to stop what theyre doing and make you feel welcomed.

Talked about the program a bit - there was a mention of media guide creation in the job description…. some of you may not know - before ending up at Zent, I really wanted to get into sports information - the graphical side of things. Media guides, promotional material, recruiting material… and that obviously didnt work out there. I am starting to see a trend of God’s faithfulness to the desires/passions he’s placed within me. The soccer program, coach, girls - seems as though it would be a perfect fit. I have changed my mind on the educational route. I will be pursuing a degree in Organizational Leadership - “what is that you say?” It’s an overall/thorough preparation for leading in any type of setting.

Needless to say, there are 3 other girls besides me in running for this position. We will apparently know by the beginning of Feb what his decision is. I really feel that the Lord is leading me here. The last time I felt like that was when I visited IWU - with rals, goody, bethy diehl.. all the soccer girls that made me love soccer and the Lord all the more.

So, back to why this was funny - the “faith and hope” thing. The Lord has been calling me to discipleship. Specifically said. There has been a weeding out period of what that really pertains to realistically - which is where faith comes in.

Faith deals with today. Hope deals with tomorrow. (1 John 3:2)

God is powerful = God is able (Romans 4:18-21) | God is faithful = God is willing (Hebrews 11:11) Hebrews 11 speaks of Abraham’s continued, unwaivering faith in God’s promise to him.

In Hebrews 6:19, the mysterious writer of Hebrews, calls hope “an anchor of the soul, firm and secure. It enters and inner sanctuary.” What kind of stability that means that hope has!! An anchor by modern terms is “an object preventing or restricting the motion of a vessel or other floating object, typically having broad, hooklike arms that bury themselves in the bottom to provide a firm hold.” Seems that when we believe without doubt in our heart, He is faithful (Mark 11:22-24).

Gosh. I think I just found my favorite verse(s). Mark 11:22-24.  “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. “

That’s my update. Work is going well. Finally making connections with my co-workers. Prayer for Zachary (Zach) Toland. He’s what I’m there for I think.  God’s going to be working wonders…. weeeeeeeeeeeee

The result of praying and fasting… If the Lord leads you to seek Him in this manner, DO it. I can’t describe it very well – it’s something you have to experience first hand. How the Lord takes physical hunger and turns it to a spiritual hunger which yields understanding.

New years resolution that has nothing to do with losing weight.

song: matthew west, you are everything
word: relentless
resolution: a relentless pursuit of the Father’s heart. So I will never lack compassion, understanding, or the desire for an intense intimacy with the Lord.

This has still been on my heart. There’s a movement called Drive by Prayer, it’s an incredible display of love within the Indianapolis community. The gifts the Lord blessed with those encouraging the movement through action. Luke 18:1-8, a parable, illustrates the persistence of a widow. Verse 7 says “Will God not bring about justice for his chosen ones who cry out to him day and night?” The Lord hears our prayers when two or more are gathered (Matthew 18:20, Mark 11:24). There were women of the supporting church that took action along with the men. It’s amazing to see the Holy Spirit move through prayer. In Acts 4:31, the disciples are asking the Lord to show up in their weakness. The verse cited goes on to say that “After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.” There was no shaking that occurred, but one persons prayer for boldness in the city of Indy for healing prompted more and more spirit led individuals to corporately declare in the name of Jesus, healing on all parts of the community. The gangs, the children, the actual land, the families, the lives of the slain…

In the midst of waiting for the Lord to move in my life, He has been showing me what it is to love others. When He first said he was going to be doing this – I figured it was finally time for prince charming to come waltzing in. negative. So, after I stopped being selfish, He brought Drive by Prayer and people at work just looking for a smile. Nothing widely recognized as “earth shaking”. That is completely fine with me. I’d rather serve unnoticed.

{The first site, the mother of the man who was shot and killed began screaming at the top of her lungs, praising God that her sons life was not in vain, and that healing would come to her family, community, the perpetrators… it was incredible. The last house, is where Sandra Holman, 58, was shot and killed, the report tells more. It was about 1:30pm when we all arrived at the location you see in the video. The family/relatives/friends, gathered on the sidewalk in a row – from face to face the deep seeded emotion changed. The women, sorrowful faces somewhat swollen from all the crying that had taken place in the last weeks. One man, his demeanor was hard, but his eyes cried for help. The men up on the porch, at the beginning of the time, they were hard, revengeful, and angry. By the end, softer – almost scared. Scared because one of their family members, a woman, I think she was a sister or cousin of Sandra, basically told them all that they need Jesus. She came from drugs and all that trash and only because she found Jesus has she been healed of all of that “trash”. It was awesome…}

There are changes coming. Physically and mentally. At first I was only welcoming of the mental changes – means growth is taking place. Struggled some with the idea of pain/moving/stress until a hand on my shoulder said, “you’re not allowing me to work here, girl” Took a few of those to finally embrace the possibility seemingly negative things molding my spirit and character into something of even greater beauty.

Enjoy your day.. I have to get back to work.. muahahah

entry 1.

sing at sunrise. not sure why it feels right as a name for this “thoughts from janelle” journal… but it does. The name stems from something I wish I was able to do. Sing praises to my Dad even if the daily tasks seem to not be praise worthy. I have yet to know what God’s purpose for 2008 is for me. I know there is a lot of change headed my way. Nothing confirmed but RELAX and GO WITH MY FLOW is what it seems to be at this point.

There is the potential for much change. Even in the short time this year has existed the idea of change has been prevalent.

1. Coach Bahr from Olivet, the Graduate Assistant program that I applied for, called and wants to set up a face to face interview.

2. Greg Knotek, my boss at Zent Consulting, was informed Friday that his brain tumor has returned. They gave him a few options (do nothing, chemo, or experiemental drugs)

3. Pastor Tavio’s series hes beginning is about change through the Holy Spirit.. not through the soul (aka, intellect, knowledge) and simply allowing the Holy Spirit to bring out of us what he has placed within us for his purposes.

Number 3 has been a big deal for me. Had no clue that he was going to be starting a series on this area of importance. Lately I have been feeling so inept in the way of spiritual gifts. I keep trying to logically put together my “qualities” to fit the list the church has compiled and I dont seem to fit into any categories. I still have no idea what I am called to do.

There was a concrete word from the Lord that discipleship will be one of the gifts I will be blessed with. Funny he should say that. I have no issues with creating relationships in a Godly manner. In fact, its the way I prefer to have the relationships structured. I feel completely incapeable of instructing from the Word, like so many people I have encountered in Indianapolis. It is an ability I have envied…

But off of that - today, through Tavio’s message.. there really is no need for intellect. It doesnt hurt you - its not wrong.. But the Lord will use the gifts I HAVE, and in time, through prayer, grant me others. It says in 1 Cor 14:1 (1 cor 14 is dedicated to the gift of prophecy - this one freaks alot of ppl out.) “Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy.”

Eagerly desire. Desire what? Not just giftings, Me. Desire Me in 2008.